he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
