just tell him i said nine months
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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