Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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