it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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