Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
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Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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