so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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