Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize