I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
