i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
