She is in my trunk
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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