Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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