He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize