So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
