He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
