nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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