I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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