You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
