i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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