Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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