Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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