and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
