she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
