He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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