This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
