honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
