While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
