Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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