Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Even my vagina gasped.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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