it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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