im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
