Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize