He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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