if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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