The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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