my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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