I puked a lego.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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