Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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