But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
