what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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