is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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