you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
