Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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