My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize