is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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