OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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