a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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