There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
