I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
