Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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