My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
now i know why i became what i already was.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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