If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
