Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
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He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
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I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.