How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
