Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm like, not good at living.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dear god my vagina.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
