Pants 0. Shit 1.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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