Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
