So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize