Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
