I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
