I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
