what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
