My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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