Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
