So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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