I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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