HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
