There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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