i may or may not be watching the land before time
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
